Wednesday, January 4, 2012

highlights from 2011

It's been a big, fun, crazy year. Care to laugh with me through memory lane? Here's a compendium of our random observations, confessions, crazy kid sayings, and other funny stuff for you to enjoy. Grab your coffee, kick back...and maybe, go to the bathroom first. Just saying.

general observations

In my newfound love for old westerns, I've recently watched movies about Wild Bill Hickok, Buffalo Bill, and Billy the Kid. Seems like one of these guys should've been named Frank or something to make things less confusing.

Dos·sier. \dah-see-ay\. noun: A pile of adoption documents sent to a foreign country containing detailed records on a particular person or subject containing 23 items, all of which need to be notarized and apostilled. See also "Pain in the Rear."

Glancing at our Costco list and thought I saw "minions" on it...a closer look revealed it was actually onions - but for a second I thought, wow, you can buy minions wholesale? We must be shopping at the Costco in DC this week.

I was discussing Jesus' temptation with the twins, and got to where Jesus says "Man does not live on bread alone." Big Red, with his squinty-serious look, answers, "Yeah...'cause you also need soup."

You should always take your vitamins with food...unless you're taking probiotics. Those you should take with chocolate.

Getting easily offended about someone else's personal opinions has the same knee-jerk effect as sneezing after applying mascara.

Aside from the obvious difficulties and annoyances of the adoption process, it is also possible that you will have to deal with utterly remarkable people who will nay-say, pooh-pooh, and deprecate adoption entirely...and then expect you to be over the moon for them when they buy a puppy.

Whoever says remote controls encourage laziness have obviously never watched their husband tear the house apart looking for it.

on living in Alaska

The Professor walked up the road to the mailbox for me this afternoon and I told him to dress warm because it was only 2 degrees...he got back and walked in the house without a jacket! I asked him, "What part of 'dress warm' do you not understand?!?" and HE said, "But Mom! I wore socks!!"

 It is inevitable that a toddler who gets so excited about collecting pine cones would be equally thrilled to come upon a pile of old moose nuggets. Her chubby little fists were already full when I caught her.

The Professor, on the idea of global warming: "Well, I think we could use the sun to be burning the earth a little more. I mean, it's freezing these days and I'm shivering. So I think people should use more chemicals."

insights from children

Our dishwasher broke. Big Red's solution, looking up at me with his eyes all squinched up and thoughtful-like, sweetly whispers, "Hafta move to a new house?"

On the phone, I was telling my friend about Loving Our Kids on Purpose - it's an amazing book, bringing great peace into parenting and joy into discipline...and during my speech, one of the kids yells from the living room, "IT'S NOT WORKIIINNGG!"

Big Red, upon learning that he will lose his bike tomorrow if he doesn't finish putting away his laundry, mutters, "I'm jus' gonna pray...fer you to ferget about dat."

I charged the kids an extra chore each for being the referee in their last argument. A second ago they were at it again and as I started to correct one of them, someone-who-shall-remain-nameless yells in a panic, "NO!!! Please don't intervene!!"

I'm eating leftovers from last night's dinner, and Big Red leans over and says, "Oh, you're eating that yummy stuff!" He pauses. "Actually, I didn't think it was yummy at all, but I didn't want ta hurt yer feelings."

on living with children

Narrowly thwarted a plan that was already in progress to cover the boys' bedroom walls entirely with black duct tape. Apparently Big Red wants to redecorate with a Star Wars theme.

Blankety-blank! I cannot tell you how many times a week that I realize I am listening to VeggieTales music all by myself because the kids all ran upstairs to play. 

We've gone from having boys who enjoy being mom's hero by squishing spiders with a piece of toilet paper to boys who run to the garage, grab their crossbow, and use the spider as a target.

I regret to inform any potential suitors that our oldest daughter has already decided whom she is going to marry. The groom was notified and is apparently mulling it over.

There is nothing like that sweet moment when you are tucking the kids in after they've fallen asleep - it's dark, it's peaceful, and they're so smooth the hair across their forehead...and then they fart. Loudly. That's life, folks.


It may be a sign you've been watching too many westerns if you affectionately name your Suburban "Stagecoach."

Well, hello 8 am - we seem to be running into each other a lot more often lately. And no, I still don't like you.

You may have been remiss in your duties if, when you finally get around to doing laundry and all the clean clothes are piled on the couch, the kids come running over and yell, "Yeah! Underwear!!" (I know, that NEVER happens at your house!)

Confession from the Professor after the adoption home visit with the social worker: "Mom, I kept my nunchucks under the bed. I didn't want her to think we were TOO dangerous."


Kathleen said...

Wonderful! Love your sense of reality! er, humor ;-) Great revisiting your year.

Mechelle said...

Thanks for sharing your wit! I like your stories.

krafterskorner said...

LOL! I pray that two more will be joining you this year.

Julia Badgley said...

Haha- cute! I enjoyed those :) Especially the 'insights from children' section.
Happy 2012!

luvncrafts said...

I enjoyed reading this. And I wish I lived there in Alaska to enjoy your snow as well. Talking to kids is fun!!

*~Niki~* said...

lol cute! Niki x

Display Your He{ART] said...

What a fun family you have! Thanks for sharing your perspective on life! I'm your newest blog follower and would love to stay updated on your adoption process! So good to "meet" you over at Display Your He{art}!

sammysgrammy said...

Such fun to read about the little Alaskans. I'm inspired to drag out some of my stories...............

Very Verdant said...

Hahaha! What a great way to start the day! Thanks for sharing all these great moments with us.